Transcripts/Baby Cakes


 * Main cast: [chattering excitedly]
 * Applejack: Can you believe the new baby is finally here?
 * Twilight Sparkle: Cup Cake and Carrot Cake must be so proud!
 * Rarity: I wonder if it's a filly or a colt?
 * Pinkie Pie: I wanna see the new baby pony! I wanna see! Which one is it?!
 * Mr. Cake: Meet our son, Pound Cake.
 * Pound Cake: [yawns]
 * Main cast: Awwww.
 * Mr. Cake: ...and our daughter, Pumpkin Cake.
 * Pumpkin Cake: [yawns]
 * Main cast: Huh?
 * Pinkie Pie: Two new foals for me to play with? [gasps] That's two, two, two times the fun! This is the greatest day ever! We need to celebrate your birthday, babies, 'cause you were just born today! Woo-hoo!
 * Nurse Redheart: Shhh. The babies are trying to sleep.
 * Pinkie Pie: But I was just–
 * Nurse Redheart: Shhh.
 * Pinkie Pie: But–
 * Nurse Redheart: Shhh!
 * Pinkie Pie: [quieter] Happy happy birthday to you and you today–
 * [thud]
 * Applejack: Now how in thunderation is one of them twins a Pegasus and the other one a unicorn?
 * Mr. Cake: Easy. My great-great-great-great grandfather was a unicorn, and Cup Cake's great aunt's second cousin twice removed was a Pegasus. That makes sense, right?
 * Rainbow Dash: Aw, yeah! Heh, just you wait! Once little Pound Cake there gets his wings going, he'll be all over the place.
 * Twilight Sparkle: And be careful around Pumpkin Cake.
 * Rarity: Baby unicorns get strange magic surges that come and go.
 * Pinkie Pie: Quick! Make a wish and blow out your candles! Which is easy, 'cause there are zero candles! You are zero years old, after all!
 * Nurse Redheart: Shhh!


 * [theme song]


 * Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake: [happy gurgling]


 * [Pinkie Pie]
 * Happy month-i-versary to you and you today!
 * [very quickly] I-can't-believe-you're-already-a-month-old. Time-sure-flies-doesn't-it-wow. Seems-like-only yesterday-you-were-born.
 * But now you're a month old today, hey!


 * Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake: [blowing party kazoos] [excited giggling]
 * Pinkie Pie: Are you ready for your favoritest game in the whole wide world? Where's Pinkie Pie...? Here I am! Where's Pinkie Pie...? Here I am! Where's Pinkie Pie...? Here I am!
 * Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake: [laughing]
 * Pinkie Pie: Here I am! Here I am! Here I am! [blows raspberry]
 * Mrs. Cake: Everything okay in there? Who needs a diaper change?
 * Pinkie Pie: Don't worry, they're fine! [sniffs] Oogh, I mean...
 * Mr. Cake: Oh, I got it.
 * [clang]
 * Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake: [giggling]
 * Mr. Cake: Is anypony hungry?
 * Pinkie Pie: Ah, no thanks. I just had a big breakfast.
 * Mrs. Cake: I'm on it.
 * Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake: [sucking on bottles]
 * [watch ticking]
 * Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake: [sighs, then groans]
 * Pinkie Pie: Oh, oh, you're making funny faces! I have one! Bleghhh!
 * Mr. Cake: [chuckles] No, y'see, Pinkie, the babies need to be burped.
 * Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake: [belches]
 * Pinkie Pie: All set now? Everything good? Okay, who wants to play again?
 * Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake: [excited giggling]
 * Mrs. Cake: Uh uh uh, Pound Cake, no pounding things.
 * Mr. Cake: Uh uh uh uh, we don't chew on things, Pumpkin Cake.
 * Pinkie Pie: Except food.
 * Mrs. Cake: [gasps] Food! Great cinnamon sticks, I completely forgot.
 * Pinkie Pie: No, you just fed them bottles, remember?
 * Mrs. Cake: Not the babies' food!
 * Mr. Cake: Gh! The food for the enormously big catering order we have to deliver today!
 * Mrs. Cake: Oh, with the new twins, we've been so distracted!
 * Mr. Cake: Gh, quick, honeybun, we need to find a babysitter to watch the foals while we take care of this.
 * Pinkie Pie: I could do it! I wanna do it! Oh, the babies love playing with me, I'll do it!
 * Mrs. Cake: I wonder who would be available on such short notice.
 * Pinkie Pie: Me! Me! Pick me!


 * Fluttershy: Oh, I would love to babysit! But I can't today, sorry. I promised Angel we'd go on a picnic. You understand, don't you? Y-you're not mad at me, are you? Please don't be mad at me!
 * Pinkie Pie: I'll do it! Pick me!


 * Twilight Sparkle: I have to finish this report for the Princess summarizing all my other reports to the Princess.
 * Pinkie Pie: I wanna babysit! Pick me!


 * [thwack!]
 * [apples thudding]
 * Applejack: Babysit? Now? When there's a swarm o' hungry caterpillars headin' this way? I gotta get all these apples picked before they get swarmed on!
 * Pinkie Pie: Ooh, ooh, I wanna do it!


 * Rainbow Dash: I got tickets to the Wonderbolts airshow this afternoon. Gotta dash!
 * Pinkie Pie: Ask me! Mememememememememememememe!


 * Rarity: Moi? Babysit? N- Oh nonononononononono! I'm flattered that you would think about me though.
 * Mr. Cake: [groans] [unenthusiastically] Pinkie Pie, how would you like to babysit for us?
 * Pinkie Pie: [gasps] I dunno. I'll have to check my schedule.


 * [doors bang]
 * Pumpkin Cake: [giggles]
 * Mr. Cake: Now, Pinkie, are you sure you really understand the responsibility of watching over two babies?
 * Pinkie Pie: I can be responsible. Why, responsibility is my middle name. Pinkie Responsibility Pie.
 * Mrs. Cake: But this time you need to take care of them, not just play with them. You have to be responsible.
 * Pinkie Pie: Yes, I know. I will. I am.
 * [ding]
 * Mrs. Cake: Oh, here you are, dearie. All your responsibilities are on this list.
 * Pinkie Pie: Whoa! That's a lot of responsi– Consider it done.
 * Mr. Cake: [to Mrs. Cake] We'll frost it when we get there! C'mon, sugarplum, tick-tick!
 * Mrs. Cake: Take good care of our two precious little ginger snaps!
 * Pinkie Pie: No problemo, Mr. and Mrs. Cake. Everything is under control.
 * Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake: [crying]
 * Pinkie Pie: Uh-oh.


 * Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake: [crying]
 * Pinkie Pie: Oh, don't cry, little friends! Look, look! Where's Pinkie Pie...? Where's Pinkie Pie?
 * Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake: [crying]
 * Pinkie Pie: Oh no... I'm right here, see?
 * Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake: [crying]
 * Pinkie Pie: [warbling noises]
 * Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake: [crying]
 * Pinkie Pie: Oh, think think think... Aha!


 * Pinkie Pie: Hey guys, watch this!
 * [applause]
 * Pinkie Pie: Hey, you're a wonderful crowd here tonight! Where y'all from? Wow, that's great. Y'know, I used to have an ant farm, but I had to get rid of it because... I couldn't find tractors that small!
 * [ba-dum tish]
 * Pinkie Pie: Get it? Tractors that small? [pause] The other day, I spilled spot remover on my dog... and now I can't find him!
 * [ba-dum tish]
 * Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake: [crying]
 * Pinkie Pie: Gee, tough crowd. [to herself] Tell me about it. Fine, I wasn't gonna pull off a show stopper, but you're a lovely audience and I think you deserve it!


 * First you jiggle your tail! Oink oink oink!
 * Then you wriggle your snout! Oink oink oink!
 * Then you wiggle your rump! Oink oink oink!
 * Then shout it out! Oink oink oink!


 * First you jiggle your tail! Oink oink oink!
 * Then you wriggle your snout! Oink oink oink!
 * Then you wiggle your rump! Oink oink oink!
 * Then shout it out! Oink oink oink!
 * Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake: [crying]


 * [Pinkie Pie]


 * First you jiggle your tail! Oink oink oink!
 * Then you wriggle your snout! Oink oink oink!
 * Then you wiggle your rump! Oink oink oink!
 * Then shout it out! Oink oink oink!
 * [ploof]
 * Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake: [giggling]
 * Pinkie Pie: There, see? Nothing to this babysitting business! Ugh!


 * Pinkie Pie: Snack time. That's easy enough. Okie-dokie! Eat up! Like this! Num-num-num, num-num-num-num! Ahh!
 * Pumpkin Cake: Nom-
 * Pinkie Pie: No, Pumpkin Cake, we eat food, not tablecloths.
 * Pumpkin Cake: [crying]
 * [splat]
 * Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake: [crying]
 * Pinkie Pie: Huh, huh? Uh, hey, guys, look at me!
 * [ploof]
 * Pinkie Pie: Achoo!
 * Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake: [giggling]
 * Pinkie Pie: Yeah. I think I can see where this is going. [snorts]


 * [water running]
 * Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake: [giggling]
 * Pinkie Pie: Towels are not food, Pumpkin Cake!
 * Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake: [giggling]
 * Pinkie Pie: Drop it... Drop it... Drop it!?
 * Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake: [muffled giggling] [giggling] [crying]
 * Pinkie Pie: Ooh, look, guys! Bubbles! [blows]
 * [bubble pops]
 * Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake: [crying]
 * Pinkie Pie: Uh, uh, uh, uh, don't cry! Look, look, uh, floating things! Ooh, aaah, eeh!
 * Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake: [crying]
 * [water spraying]
 * [crunch]
 * Pinkie Pie: Uh, don't make me do it, guys! You know what happens when you mix flour and water, don't you?
 * Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake: [crying]
 * [ploof]
 * [splatting sounds]
 * Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake: [giggling]


 * Pinkie Pie: [sniffs] [gasps] [hoof on nose] Smells like somepony needs me to changy-wangy their diaper-wiper right now-a-wow! [tiptoeing noise] Easy... easy...
 * Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake: [giggling]
 * Pinkie Pie: [sighs]
 * Pumpkin Cake: [giggles]
 * Pinkie Pie: [growls]
 * [fight sounds; Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake giggling throughout]
 * Pinkie Pie: Wait- no- stay there- just- for a second- stand still, I've almost-
 * Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake: [giggling]
 * Pinkie Pie: Oh, you've gotta be kidding me.
 * [bell rings]
 * Pinkie Pie: Oh! Thank goodness they're home!


 * Twilight Sparkle: Hi! I finished up the work I had to do, so I thought I'd stop by and see if you needed any help. Whoa!
 * Pinkie Pie: Thank you, thank you, thank you for coming! I can't begin to tell you what my day has been like! I mean, these babies just won't listen to reason, and don't even get me started on their taste in stand-up comedy.
 * [ba-dum tish]
 * Twilight Sparkle: It's okay, Pinkie. I figured you would need some help. That's why I stopped by.
 * Pinkie Pie: Ex-cuse me?
 * Twilight Sparkle: Babies take a lot of work, and some ponies are just not cut out to handle the responsibility.
 * Pinkie Pie: Is that so? Well, thanks for stopping by, Twilight. Sorry, I don't have time to visit. I'm very very busy with my responsibilities here.
 * Twilight Sparkle: I'm happy to help! It's no trouble–
 * [door slams]
 * Pinkie Pie: Well, of all the– She thinks I can't handle things on my own! Maybe because I haven't handled things on my own. Well, I can handle things on my own!


 * Pound Cake: [happy burbling]
 * [toy squeaking]
 * Pumpkin Cake: [giggling and numing]
 * Pinkie Pie: Pound Cake. [growls] This is a crib. It is only to be used for napping, sleeping, and on occasion with permission, as a pretend old-timey Western fort. It is not a trampoline, so stop your jumping right now, mister!
 * Pumpkin Cake: [giggling]
 * Pinkie Pie: And you, young filly. We do not put anything in our mouth that we cannot safely and properly digest, so stop slobbering on that toy this instant!
 * [toy squeaks]
 * Pinkie Pie: Now, we've all had a very exhausting afternoon, and it's time for all good little foals to take their nap. So, fall asleep!
 * Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake: [snoring]
 * Pinkie Pie: [sighs] [kisses twice] Sleep tight.
 * [toy squeaks]
 * Pinkie Pie: Now that's what I call handling things. [gasps]


 * Pinkie Pie: Oh, nononono. Not good, not good, not good! Pound? Pumpkin? Where are you? Come out, come out, wherever you are!
 * [toy squeaks]
 * Pumpkin Cake: [squeaks toy]
 * Pinkie Pie: Whoa! You be a good little girl now, Pumpkin-wumpkin, and stay in your crib for your pal Pinkie-winkie!
 * Pumpkin Cake: [squeaks toy repeatedly]
 * Pinkie Pie: Pound Cake? [clicks] Here, Pound Cake!
 * [wind blowing]
 * Pound Cake: [echoed giggles]
 * Pinkie Pie: Uh, Pound Cake? Uh...
 * Pumpkin Cake: [squeaks toy]
 * Pound Cake: [echoed giggles]
 * Pumpkin Cake: [squeaks toy; sound gets lower and more sinister]
 * [Psycho chords play]
 * Pound Cake: [giggles]
 * Pinkie Pie: [squeals] You can fly?!
 * Pound Cake: [giggles]
 * Pinkie Pie: Oh... get down here... this instant... young... colt! [gasps for breath] I'm responsible for you!
 * [suction cup noises]
 * Pumpkin Cake: [giggles] Nom nom nom.
 * Pinkie Pie: No no no, Pumpkin.
 * Pumpkin Cake: Nom nom.
 * Pinkie Pie: No no.
 * Pumpkin Cake: Nom.
 * Pinkie Pie: No. Hmph! I am the responsible one, and I said no.
 * Pound Cake: Wheeee!
 * Pinkie Pie: That goes for you too, Pound Cake!
 * [thud]
 * Pinkie Pie: Gotcha! I think? [yelping]
 * [thudding on stairs]
 * [splats]
 * Pinkie Pie: Mm, razzleberry. I'm- not- letting- go! I'm- re-spon-si-ble!
 * [thudding on stairs]
 * [elastic stretching]
 * Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake: [giggling]
 * Pinkie Pie: Oh, not you too! There! Now who's the responsible one?
 * Pumpkin Cake: [jubilant giggling]
 * Pinkie Pie: [yelps] [sobbing]
 * [ploof]
 * Pinkie Pie: [giggles] Y'know, you're right. That is funny.


 * Pound Cake: [snoring]
 * Pumpkin Cake: [sleepy mumbling]


 * Pinkie Pie: Dear Princess Celestia,
 * I've always had fun playing with little kids, and I thought babysitting meant just more playtime, right? Wrong! Being a caregiver is way more responsibility than just being a playmate. And today, I learned that sometimes our desire for responsibility can outrun our actual ability to handle it.


 * [bell rings]
 * Mr. Cake: Pinkie Pie! We're back!
 * Mrs. Cake: How did everything go? [gasps]
 * Mr. Cake: Are we in the right place?
 * Pinkie Pie: Shhh!
 * Pound Cake: [snoring]
 * Pumpkin Cake: [sleepy mumbling]
 * Mrs. Cake: P-Pinkie. This is just... just...
 * Mr. Cake: Amazing is what it is. We had no idea how responsible you really are. Would you be interested in becoming our go-to babysitter on a permanent basis?
 * Pinkie Pie: [gasps] Hm- Ah- lemme check my schedule! I should be available a week from... never!
 * Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake: [sighs]
 * Pound Cake: Pinkie...
 * Pumpkin Cake: Pie...
 * Pinkie Pie: [happily gasps] I have some free time next Tuesday.


 * [music]
 * [credits]